25 ‘random’ things about me, Part II

January 29, 2009 at 9:51 am (25 random things, Anger, Bad Driving, Dog, Dreams, Laney, Pain, School, Stupidity, Virginia Tech)
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  1. I broke a bone in my hand punching one of my friends in the arse.  (His name rhymes with Wreath Yelps)
  2. The volume of my car stereo has to be an even number. (Obligatory OCD admission)
  3. I used to shoplift baseball cards when I was a little kid, and I never got caught. I kind of wish I had been.
  4. When I see someone driving a Mustang, I assume that person is a douchebag, and I’ve only been proven wrong a couple of times.
  5. I have recurring dreams about having to go back and finish high school for some reason.
  6. When I was a teenager mowing the lawn, I would stop the mower to shoo a ladybug out of the way every time I saw one in the mower’s path.
  7. I know who is cheating at golf, even if I don’t say anything.
  8. I unintentionally take on the accent, colloquialisms and mannerisms of the people with whom I’m speaking.
  9. I tend to either have a really strong opinion or none whatsoever.
  10. Unapologetic tardiness is a cardinal sin in my book.
  11. I’ve never been sold on having kids because I just don’t feel like my genes are so special that they need to be propagated.
  12. As many times as I’ve tried to learn, I simply cannot read sheet music.
  13. I have extended conversations with pets even when I’m the only person in the room.  I speak for them as well as for myself.  Each animal gets its own voice.
  14. I get frustrated when someone is unable to tell me why they do something a certain way.
  15. I leave extra money when no one’s looking if I see someone left a crappy tip. (But I don’t look at people’s receipts; it’s only if I happen to see cash or the like)
  16. Sudden loud noises make me jump and feel a momentary surge of rage. (Like PTSD, but I have no idea what the trauma was)
  17. Animals absolutely love me as soon as they see me.
  18. If I could change careers without having to pay for retraining, I’d become a personal chef.
  19. I feel like I have a billion dollar idea in my head, but I have no idea when it will surface or what it will entail.
  20. When I see another driver about to do something illegal, I sometimes try to make it look like I’m going to hit them and then honk my horn in order to scare them.
  21. I think it’s pathetic how desperate people are to get themselves on TV, even if it’s just in the background of a news report or sporting event.
  22. I assume people are dumber than average when they have a southern accent, even though I grew up in the south and have seen countless examples to the contrary, and can even take on one myself when in a group of southerners.
  23. I feel like I learned almost nothing in any of my classes in college.
  24. It takes me a good 15 minutes of cycling to break a sweat, yet I’ll be dripping with perspiration less than 5 minutes into vacuuming a room.
  25. For 15 years or so, I’ve had a gigantic numb spot on one of my thighs.  You could jam a fork in there and I’d never know.  (But if you’re going to try, you’d better pick the correct one!)

Link to Part I

Link to Part III

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Handicapped Grampies Texting

February 4, 2008 at 10:08 am (Bad Driving)
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This morning, on my way into work, I saw another head shaker.  I was on 460, which is a 4 lane divided highway with a 55mph speed limit, and I was in the left lane, coming up on a slow old Buick in the slow lane with handicapped plates that was swerving all over the road.  I sucked it up and passed him because of how slow he was going.  When I got up even with him, I could see the cause of the driving suckage: It was a man who looked to be in his 80s sending text messages!  I could see him for a minute or two after I passed him from my rear view mirror, and he never put his phone down.  I saw him a couple minutes later when I was waiting to turn at a light and he caught up with me.  Still texting.

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Because my time is a terrible thing to waste

August 27, 2007 at 9:13 am (Anger, Bad Driving, Grocery Store, Lateness, Patience, Wasted Time)

Patience is too broad of a word to be used for all the possible scenarios in which it currently applies. We need one word for being reasonably patient when the situation calls for it, and another for when you just have to sit there and wait for some idiot to stop wasting your time.  I can be patient for events that are worth the wait, or for delays that have good or unavoidable reasons. I can wait weeks, months, and even years for things depending on the cause or benefit. But there are other times when even a one second delay drives me nuts. Grocery store checkout lines bring that out in me more than anything else. Once I’m in that line, I just want to get out of the store as soon as possible. But the people in front of me invariably are running at a clock speed so low that I feel the need to check their pulse.

I do realize that instead of expecting the world to conform to my standards and speed up, I should try to match their pace by slowing down. But I loathe wasted time, especially when it is wasted for no good reason, in an un-enjoyable location or manner.

If you are in the self-checkout line with less than fifteen items, it should not take you 6 minutes to check out. If it takes you that long, go to one of the manned registers and let someone competent do the work for you. If you are in that line and waiting 15 minutes for your 300 cans of cat food to be scanned, you can go ahead and write out most of the fields of your check (and yes, I know you are going to be using a checkbook to pay) before the total is tallied up. Your name, the grocery store’s name, your signature, and the memo are not going to change between now and when all of your Fancy Feast cans and their corresponding coupons have been accounted for and filed in the correct bag.

Grocery stores are just one example of how I can blow my stack over small amounts of wasted time. I am working on trying to let these things go, but it’s difficult because I notice annoying behavior all the time. Think Larry David in ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’. I also notice when some selfish jerk pulls a 3 point U-Turn in the middle of a street with oncoming traffic. I wish I could just ignore that stuff, but instead I find myself yelling at the guy or at least making mention of the incident to whatever poor soul is with me at the time. Perennial lateness is another one that gets me. It drives me crazy that people have so little respect for others that they will make plans with someone and then waste their time by showing up late. Everyone is occasionally late. Unforseen problems can cause that. But some people are late all the time, and they never have a good reason. That is nothing short of a slap in the face to the people they were supposed to be meeting.

I have a lot of work to do to stop caring about how much everyone else sucks. ;) Ignorance is supposedly bliss, so it’s probably worth it to keep trying.

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