A Phoenix in Charlotte

1. I broke a bone in my hand punching one of my friends in the arse.  (His name rhymes with Wreath Yelps)
2. The volume of my car stereo has to be an even number. (Obligatory OCD admission)
3. I used to shoplift baseball cards when I was a little kid, and I never got caught. I kind of wish I had been.
4. When I see someone driving a Mustang, I assume that person is a douchebag, and I’ve only been proven wrong a couple of times.
5. I have recurring dreams about having to go back and finish high school for some reason.
6. When I was a teenager mowing the lawn, I would stop the mower to shoo a ladybug out of the way every time I saw one in the mower’s path.
7. I know who is cheating at golf, even if I don’t say anything.
8. I unintentionally take on the accent, colloquialisms and mannerisms of the people with whom I’m speaking.
9. I tend to either have a really strong opinion or none whatsoever.
10. Unapologetic tardiness is a cardinal sin in my book.
11. I’ve never been sold on having kids because I just don’t feel like my genes are so special that they need to be propagated.
12. As many times as I’ve tried to learn, I simply cannot read sheet music.
13. I have extended conversations with pets even when I’m the only person in the room.  I speak for them as well as for myself.  Each animal gets its own voice.
14. I get frustrated when someone is unable to tell me why they do something a certain way.
15. I leave extra money when no one’s looking if I see someone left a crappy tip. (But I don’t look at people’s receipts; it’s only if I happen to see cash or the like)
16. Sudden loud noises make me jump and feel a momentary surge of rage. (Like PTSD, but I have no idea what the trauma was)
17. Animals absolutely love me as soon as they see me.
18. If I could change careers without having to pay for retraining, I’d become a personal chef.
19. I feel like I have a billion dollar idea in my head, but I have no idea when it will surface or what it will entail.
20. When I see another driver about to do something illegal, I sometimes try to make it look like I’m going to hit them and then honk my horn in order to scare them.
21. I think it’s pathetic how desperate people are to get themselves on TV, even if it’s just in the background of a news report or sporting event.
22. I assume people are dumber than average when they have a southern accent, even though I grew up in the south and have seen countless examples to the contrary, and can even take on one myself when in a group of southerners.
23. I feel like I learned almost nothing in any of my classes in college.
24. It takes me a good 15 minutes of cycling to break a sweat, yet I’ll be dripping with perspiration less than 5 minutes into vacuuming a room.
25. For 15 years or so, I’ve had a gigantic numb spot on one of my thighs.  You could jam a fork in there and I’d never know.  (But if you’re going to try, you’d better pick the correct one!)

Link to Part I

Link to Part III